Is Your Sadness Normal?

We've all felt blue, brokenhearted, and bummed out — but how can you tell the difference between natural sadness and depression?

Everyone experiences bouts of sadness. In fact, sadness is a completely normal and healthy response to life’s inevitable adversities — layoffs, breakups, breakdowns. Depression, on the other hand, is a serious condition that often requires treatment.

Feeling down and feeling depressed share similar symptoms, but clinical depression is the term that doctors use to describe a chemical imbalance that results from a combination of possible causes (including your genes, your brain chemicals, and your emotions). And though depression can be triggered by many of the same events that cause normal sadness, it is an illness that requires treatment — not just an emotional reaction.

How can you tell the difference? "The difference between normal sadness and depression is in the duration and intensity," says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a mental health counselor in New York City. “Sadness is a normal human reaction to an event or experience that is unwanted, painful, or unfortunate. Usually these feelings will lessen or lift with the passage of time, processing of the event, and seeing it in perspective or as a continuum of life.”

Tearfulness Triggers: What Makes Us Sad?

Why do we get bummed out? “Rejection by an important person in one's life, being passed over for a promotion, not getting the job one was hoping for — these can all lead to a sense of sadness,” says Firstein. “Usually sad feelings will last a few days or maybe a week, and during this time a person is able to function normally in their life, fulfill duties and tasks or daily activities, eat, sleep, and coexist with others."

These common sadness scenarios can certainly invoke tears — but some of them may also put you at risk for depression:

The death of a loved one. Grief is a process that everyone must work their way through at some point in their lives. It may take years — but grief does not normally lead to clinical depression.

Bad breakups. A breakup or a divorce — even the loss of a friendship — can lead to feelings of loneliness, and split-ups have actually been shown to potentially trigger episodes of depression.

Job loss. Beyond feelings of rejection, losing your job can lead to financial stress and can send your self-esteem through the wringer. And this combination of pressure, sadness, and anxiety may also lead to depression, says Firstein.

Bad health. Prolonged illness and chronic pain commonly lead to isolation and loss of independence. While these stressors are especially common in the elderly, it’s important to know that depression is not a normal part of aging.

Seasonal sadness. Winter blues are a common cause of sadness in younger people who live in northern climates. Also called seasonal affective disorder, winter blues is a type of sadness that usually clears up with exposure to sunshine.

When Does Normal Sadness Turn Into Depression?

"When feelings of normal sadness or winter blues don't go away and, in fact, get deeper and more intense, and there is a difficulty or major effort in carrying out daily activities, they can be signs of depression," warns Firstein.

If you have five or more of these symptoms for at least two weeks, you could be at risk for depression.

Extreme restlessness or anxiety
Big changes in your weight or appetite
Constant fatigue
Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Loss of interest in normal activities
Inability to think clearly
Trouble sleeping
Thoughts of death or suicide

How to Get Beyond Depression

"If you’re getting mired in a long-lasting sadness, it’s a good idea to pay attention,” says Firstein. “Aside from seeking professional help, you should talk to those close to you about what you are feeling, try to understand your feelings, and to make sense of them,” she says.

These tips may also help:

Get plenty of sleep.
Increase your exercise routine.
Avoid drugs and alcohol.
Postpone important decisions.
Be patient with yourself and set reasonable goals.

Sadness is a completely normal reaction that begins to fade over time — it should not keep you from functioning and behaving normally. And remember: It will get better. But if you think you have symptoms of depression, it’s important to ask for help. With the right treatment, depression will get better, too.

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